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Dottie's Out of Control Pets

Dear Dottie,

Those darn pets of mine are always embarrassing me in front of the guests. Every time our neighbors, the Millers, come over to visit, our golden retriever starts sniffing around in Leo Miller's crotch. Or the kitty cat, Smooches, raises her tail way up in the air when someone pets her. What can we do Dottie? It's becoming an issue in the neighborhood.

Signed,
Animal Hostage
Smyrna, GA

Dear Hostage,

Oh, you don't have to tell Dottie about pets becoming an issue in the neighborhood! Remember our darling Little Black Mambo, who acted as our Kinetic Centerpiece at dinner? Well, guess what—he grew! Yes, and, well, I don't know quite what to suggest—I had Little Carol-Anne take him down the Small Animal Hospital last week, and getting the cat to the vet is an ordeal anyway, but when he is the size of a Levittown Home, well...


Photo ©Paul Wilson
All I can suggest is to have both animals de-sexed—oh, what is that called? Noo-ter-ing? Dottie wouldn't know such things. In any case have them “fixed,” Scotch-Gard™ the furniture and the Millers, and by all means do NOT let the animals grow a lot!

Kisses,

-Dot


 

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